


Bedbugs

by koschei



Category: Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-21
Updated: 2011-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-27 16:03:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/297613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koschei/pseuds/koschei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU. Joly thinks his apartment is infested with bedbugs. Hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bedbugs

Joly awoke in the middle of the night, his chest itching worse than the time Bossuet had sprinkled itching powder in through his shirt drawer. There were small red bumps all up and down Joly’s body, and after a quick trip to Wikipedia, he was _absolutely sure_ that the cause of this was a bedbug infestation. In a two-in-the-morning entomophobic frenzy, Joly stripped the sheets from his bed and stuffed them into a black plastic bag. Next to go were the contents of his dresser, then everything in the closet, and the rug, and the armchair. By five o’clock Joly and Bossuet’s entire apartment had nothing left that was made of any sort of fabric. The loveseat’s upholstery had been torn off and stuffed into bags, the frame was unscrewed and carried outside in its original flatpacked state, the mattresses had been clumsily lugged down the stairs (Joly had tipped the still-sleeping Bossuet onto the floor), and Joly had scrubbed all the remaining surfaces with rubbing alcohol. Twice. Satisfied that the apartment was completely clean, Joly doused the mountain of fabric in the yard with alcohol - mostly Bossuet’s - and set it all on fire.

It was the first time Joly and Bossuet were ever evicted.

A few days later Joly was explaining the situation to Musichetta, and she asked to see his bedbug bites. Joly pulled up his shirt, pointing out the itchy red rash that had spread across his torso. Musichetta took one look and started laughing so hard Joly thought she would make herself sick.

“What is it? What’s so funny?”

“Oh Joly,” she choked out, pausing to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye. “That is a heat rash!”


End file.
